Es Fiel Mir Ein
by Sakusha
Summary: The goings on inside the minds of the Weiss boys, each connected to the other.
1. Introduction

Es Fiel Mir Ein  -  It came to Mind

Introduction

It actually did just "come to mind". Thought I'd keep the title. I took approximately ten minutes of the same day at the same time to poke the minds of Weiss. It's a little angsty.    ( big surprise)  It may be a little OOC, but then are you in your mind what people see on the outside? Thoughts are fragmented and tend to meander, because, its my experience that that's how people think. I broke it down to four parts. One for each respective member, all going on at the same time, at different places and different views accordingly.


	2. Omi

Omi 

Tick

Ten minutes of class left, and I've got to finish this paper. Youji hate's the parking here so I've got to be ready when the bell sounds. Bike should be fixed by tomorrow, so I won't have to ask him to pick me up again.

Tick

This paper is KILLING me. Argh! I put my pen down, sigh, then pick it back up and stare at the words some more. Need to get more darts. The 5 inchers seem to work better. The tips are more slender. And I guess I should coat them with synide, cause the other stuff just doesn't work fast enough.

Tick

I scrabble down my conclusion. Just to be done with it. Can't seem to concentrate on it so maybe if the bullshit looks good enough the teacher won't really notice. It's not like the grade on this paper is going to affect my career or anything. I reflect for a minute how funny that thought is, I mean what's Persia going to do if I flunked a course, fire me? Ha. I almost laugh out loud at the thought, until I realize that assassins don't get _fired_ they get...

Tick

Well, there's a happy thought, ne? Last paragraph complete. Thank GOD! I hate term papers. Its actually due tomorrow, but I think I told Aya I would work his shift, and then there's a mission report Manx wanted me to over. Something about details. What does she really want to know anyway? I mean, they have the body count, damage report and the 'targets' computer information all in a nice neat package the way they like it. _Details_.

How many times Aya slashed the bodyguards at the entrance, the way Ken's body shook with anger when he finished the second floor sweep, five out of six guards no longer breathing, the look in Youji's eyes as wire snaps the neck of the sixth, just before he pushes his sunglasses back up over his eyes saying something witty and frank. Or the way the target screeches and hollers for someone to save him before my dart closes off his windpipe in a nice little "thwip" kinda sound. I'm sure she really doesn't want to know the _details._

Tick

I think I need my bow aligned. Pulls up a bit more than it should. Maybe I'll just opt for something a little more high powered. They've got a new titanium one that looks pretty cool. Folds up real nice too.

Tick

Push my papers and books into my backpack. What a mess. And I'm the _organized_ one. Got a good look at Ken's closet once. Definitely NOT organized. Youji's not much better but he has more expensive things so he does try. Aya's organized to the point of obsessivness about some things and other things he could care less about. Funny what's important to him. I'm usually pretty careful about things, especially things that I know people will see, cause I know that that's what's expected out of me. I really try to hard sometimes and I know someday somebody will see the seam's stretched a little to thin on the hold I have on my life... but then maybe no one will ever know either.

Tick

Why does the clock go so much more slowly the more you watch it? I swear the third hand isn't moving at all. It's like last Saturday's mission, when I was sitting knee deep in snow on the outside of a some godforsaken warehouse waiting for Aya to give the signal that the target is in sight. I swear the man HAD to know that by now the snow has melted into my cloths and not even my underwear are dry at this point. My fingers were so numb I had to put my darts away for fear they would slip from my fingertips when the time called to use them. Trying NOT to sneeze and I know my nose is going to start running, and do I have tissue? Who thinks to bring tissue on a mission? It's not really up there on the list of priorities, ya know? I'm screaming in my head for Aya to just give the signal already cause I'm miserable and I just want to go home. It was only a half an hour, but it felt like three.

Tick

Two minutes. I'm almost doing a dance in my tiny little student desk. I guess I'm lucky to be a bit small for my age, cause if I were any bigger and had to sit here for hours on end, I'd lose it. I take a look at the board to make sure I haven't forgot an assignment. Nope, all done. Teacher looks up and around the class. He gives me a slight nod, knowing I've finished my work and wishing me a good day. I smile back. That's me. I smile and don't complain that his pain in the ass term paper gave me a headache. I really should have finished it on the weekend, and probably would have if I wasn't out, you know, killing people. I hope that's the last one I have to work on for a while because a have feeling one of those long missions are coming up, and they just sort of drain me. Youji hates them too because it puts a cramp in the whole dating scene. I don't think Aya minds though. He really doesn't _do_ anything else. He never looks _happy_ to see Manx, mind you, but I think he like to be busy. Ken can go both ways. He's either gung ho about it, or he just shrugs at the monotony of it all.

Tick

I'm sitting at the edge of my seat. I really want to get out of here before the black haired girl in the back corners me again. There's a school dance at the end of the month, or so she's told me. Three times she's told me. I think she's holding out that I'm going to ask her. Dances. Corsages. Flowers. I think we need some carnations. And were out of Calla Lily's. Who did the ordering anyway? Was it my turn to do the ordering? Oh God, I hope not, Aya's going to KILL me. I sigh as I sit forward a little more, a feat really, since I'm already on the very edge of my seat. She's really very nice and all, and so I'm very nice back. Maybe I should stop that. I may have given her the wrong impression. Even if I WANTED to go, I really don't know what I'll be doing by that time. Some of the missions we get are last minute. It's not like I can say ' Sorry, I can't go to the dance because I've got to go shove darts into someone's chest. I really don't think she'd understand.

RING!

I practically bolt from my seat at the sound, and I'm the second out the door. I start breathing easier now. Down the hall I wave at the few people I know, not bothering to stop at my locker. I wonder briefly if Ken would show me how to tune my bike before its so out of wack that I don't have a ride of my own, like right now. I'm sure he would, he likes when I ask him for help. I make it out of the building in one piece among throng of other anxious teens practicly running to escape this learning institution.

I can see Youji now. His expression almost comical. He's trying to get in close enough without putting a dent in Seven. He raises his hand in anger but glances up to see me and stops, waving instead. That's pretty good cause I swear he'd love to kill the person in front of him that just cut him off and took his parking space. I better really hurry before he gets more perturbed and threatens never to pick me up again. I rush out to meet him with a smile and he gives me the same. I guess its not such a bad day after all.


	3. Youji

****

**

* * *

**

Youji

* * *

Tap Tap

Ok I've been in line for what, 5 minutes already and this guy is moving in _slow_ motion ringing up the customer in front of me. I look down at the shirt I picked out, or rather the shirt I had picked out for me. It's a nice dark emerald green. She said it looks good with my eyes. She gave me her number. I hope she wrote her name by her number. Anyway she's the reason I'm standing in line buying a shirt I don't need and I'm probably going to be late for something cause I flirt to damn much. She was sooo cute though, blue eyes, nice smile... SHIT! OMI! I'm going to be late picking up Omi!

Tap Tap Tap

What to do, what to do. Less than ten minutes to run across town and fight crazy people for parking spaces that don't exist and find one kid is a sea of frenzied adolescence. Omi's pretty good at finding me though, and he never makes me wait. I really should try to be on time for the kid. Is this shirt really _that_ good looking? Is the guy in front of me buying the whole damn store or something? Wallet out – check. Keys out – check. Sunglasses- ACK! Where the hell??

Ca-Ching

Oh great, now the registers ready and I'm fumbling over my wallet and trying to find my glasses at the same time. I shove the shirt to the guy at the register and pat myself down. Not one of my more graceful moments. Whew! Front pocket. Flipped them off when I spotted the blonde. Kami, that shirts expensive, I wonder if she is. Ken will spot me some cash. The only thing Aya would give me is a death glare. I know Omi would, but he had to get a tune up on his bike.Which is why I'm picking him up. Hurry up dammit.

Click

Keys slide in ignition and I bring Seven to life. I may not own much, but this car is my baby. I'm what 22? And all I own is some nice clothes, a car, and a ton of wire. To think I had my own business once. Ah, those were the days. Me and _her, _and little office by a coffee shop. Coffee. Must buy more coffee. For some reason chibi thinks all living creatures should be awake by "A decent hour". I don't even come _home _at a decent hour.

Aya seems too a kick out of seeing me suffer so early in the morning. His expression never changes. God forbid the mask should crack, but I swear he's laughing inside.

Roar

I take a glance at my watch. Got a few more minutes. That's if the watch is actually right. I think the thing froze solid on the last mission. Not that I need to know what time it is before I strangle the crap out of the bad guy. I need to thread some more wire into it too . Sharp stuff almost took off a finger last time. Must remember to wear gloves.

Screech

I _hate_ red lights. Nice view though. The girl in the crosswalk definitely has class. Trim suit, heels, nice legs. I tilt my glasses ever so slightly. Wait! I remember now... last month. Yep. Nice legs, stiff as a board. Never called back. Now I'm sinking in my seat, trying to look like I'm not sinking. Hope to God she doesn't see me. Oh wait, ha! We took Aya's car, good. She won't recognize the car. Aya was on a mission with Ken. Omi's got my back. To freakin cold for my car. Aya would gladly ream me through if he knew. I don't know why it feels so good to get one over on him sometimes. I don't purposely try to irk him. Ok, maybe I do. Just a little anyway. Certain parts of my anatomy were dangerously close to freezing on that mission Saturday and I swear he acted like it was the middle of July. I know Omi had enough too, poor thing looked like a drowned kitten by the time we were done. Ken finally got things moving, if I remember, he kindly informed anyone who was listening over the com that his bugnikes had officially frozen in place and he was going to personally see to it that who ever made him sit there any longer was going to get a fist up his ass. I think Aya was a little incense. Go Ken!

Put Put

Good God, isn't there a law against cars goin so freakin' slow. Crap! I gotta get the shop back open. Hope Aya doesn't find out we closed up for lunch. A few hours lunch. Its not like there's a whole lot of business in the middle of winter anyway. What the hell was Persia thinking? Flowers? Got nothing against 'em really. Come in handy on dates and such, but really, flowers? He's got no imagination. Coulda had a nice little coffee shop...wait, strike that. They open even earlier don't they? Like five or six or somthin'. Never mind. I guess flowers work after all. Flower and killers. Maybe Persia just has a sick sense of humor.

Roar

Open road again. Good, I'll make up a little time here. Killers.. assasins..who woulda thought. I guess high school reunion is out, huh? I can see it now, 'And what do _you_ do for a living?' That would make for interesting conversation, ne? 'Why do you ask?' 'Wanna see my watch?' I don't know a lot about business or politics, but I know how to use piano wire to crush a man lyrx. I toss the package with my new shirt on the floor, so Omi wont notice _why _I'm late. Shit! Is that a stain on the seat. When the hell did that happen? The seat looks a little....oh, I remember. Last night? Night before? Sherrie? Sheryl? Sharron? God she was easy. Maybe I should get seat covers or somthin'. Coulda been the week before though. I don't remember much about the entire week really. Time's really startin' to mesh together. All the girls are startin' to look and sound the same. Maybe they always have. I need a change.

Tick

Alright! Just around the corner now. I wont be late. That'll make Chibi happy. At least most of _his_ smiles are genuine..and he has more reason to be screwed up than the rest of us. _The rest of us_. Hell. Were all screwed up. Talk about a dysfunctional family. That's what Omi would call us anyway, _family_.

And as screwed up as we all are we really do make it work. We all put up with each others shit, and most of the time it's not so bad. You would think as small as the shop is we woulda killed each other already. I think even Aya sees us as, well, something anyway. Ken definitely rounds out are little group well. As sad as it is, I think that maybe this is where I belong.

SHIT

Please tell me that guy _didn't_ just cut me off and take my parking space. Good going _asshole_. Piss off the assassin. If I didn't... oh, OK there's Omi. I sigh and wave. At least I wont need a parking space, he's running over to the car. The smile makes it worth it. It's OK if his bike isn't running by tomorrow. I really don't mind.

* * *


	4. Ken

Ken 

'Bye!'

Cut kids. Can't play soccer worth a damn, but real cute anyway. I wave my goodbye and wipe my feet before entering the Koneko. Great! Aya has the door locked still. He knows were going to open up in a few minutes anyway, don't know why it's locked. Where'd those keys go? Not in the pants, must be in my bag. Shift the gym bag to the ground to rummage around. Got too much crap in here. I know there in here, I can hear them...ah...there they are! Whew! Omi already gave me some lecture about keys and security and such. Its actually kind of funny to get a lecture from someone half your body weight.

Click

Sure is quit in here. I yell a ' Hello' out of courtesy, knowing damn well Aya is here, hear's me, and will not answer. Forgot to wipe my feet. Great. Another Omi lecture in the making. It's cute so I don't mind. Youji and I get always get lectures. I'd give a million bucks to hear him lecture Aya though. He wouldn't, but it doesn't stops me. I could care less if he gives me that death glare. I just act aloof and there's nothing he can do about it. For some reason I don't think he minds really. Then again, for some reason I'm the only one who can get away with it. I'm sure Youji'd be dead by now if he _really_ said what was on his mind half the time.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Purposely stomping up the stairs, again just to annoy the one who didn't acknowledge my 'Hello'. Childish? Hell yes. Feels good. Stress release. I think I'm itching for a mission. Not that I'm not still thawing my ass out from Saturday. My room is too dark. Boring. I should get a hobby. I mean aside from soccer, and killing people. Not computers. Omi wont let me _touch_ his computer. I killed it last time I used it. Seem to be good at killing things. Don't like to read, _boring_. Clubbing? Not much of a dancer. It's not that I don't like to dance; I'm just not an exobitionist like _some_ people. I guess I'll just stick to soccer and killing.

Rustle

Guess I should wash somthin'. I don't have many clothes, and most of them are stained. Blood. It never quite comes out. I've tried everything. Even pure bleach. Lots of it. Got lots of holes to prove it, but the blood is still there too. Sometimes there's so much of it, it soaks into my gloves. Creepy. To take off your gloves and have your hands soaked with blood. Had to use a toothbrush to scrub my nails clean. Will they ever be clean? Who's toothbrush was it anyways? Sure as hell wasn't mine.

Thump Thump Thump

I love how loud those stairs can get. Surprised Aya didn't say anything that time. Hee Hee. God we have a small place. Wonder what's in the fridge. Crap! Isn't there any food in here? Who ate all the rest of the miso soup? Oh ya, me. Great. I wonder what's for dinner. I'm forbidden to cook. Actually, I think Aya said I'm forbidden to even _be_ in the kitchen. I'll snag some of Omi's crackers. He won't mind. Sure hope Youji remembers to picks him up.

Slam

Really shouldn't kick the refrigerator door shut. Lecture number 435. Need to practice my moves. Got no one to spar with. Omi might spar with me for a while, if he's not busy. Poor kids got too much on his plate. Youji swore me off. Gave 'em a black eye just before a date last time. Don't know what he was so upset for, wears the freakin glasses all the time anyway. Think Aya has somthin' to do today. Thursday. Oh_, that's_ why he's so quite! Aya visits Aya-chan on Thursdays! _That's _why he's hold up in his room. Has been all day. God, I feel dense. The man's antisocial. I get it . Really I do. Doesn't bother me. But on days when he visits his sister he's... unreachable. It's sad really, cause, were all stuck here, ya know. I don't mean here, place. I mean _here_.

Were all together in this. A team. I like being on a team.

SHIT!

Is that the time??? Geez. Break times over. Guess I should open up again. Shouldn't complain really, had a three and a half hour break. Youji's idea. Something about winter hours. I'm sure he had an ulterior motive, but who cares. Everyone knows the Koneko runs on weird hours anyway. We should have a sign that reads "Gone hunting, be back after we slice and dice".

Swish

Gotta clean up this mess before opening up again. Sweeping seems monotonous to the others. But I kinda like it. It's relaxing. Something about the motion I guess. I enjoy motion. Physical movement. Putting motion together to complete a task. A clean floor, a goal, a kill.

Crash

Fuck! Whose stupid idea was it to put the ceramic pots there? Saw it comin' too. You'd think I woulda been able to catch that. Damn. Clean up one mess only to make another. Pieces shattered all over. Kinda like us. Were all shattered in one way or another. Persia put us together as pieces to make something new. Weiss. Kinda like a mosaic or somthin'. Couldn't tell you if that's a good thing or not.

Swish

Good thing I enjoy sweeping. Were all different, but all the pieces fit together ok I guess. I think maybe the differences are _what _makes us fit together.

thump thump thump

Those stairs are pretty loud even when you're not trying to be. _Great_. Aya won't take time to yell 'hello', but he'll come downstairs if I break somthin'. Now I'm gonna look like an idiot. I think he knows I'm not, but I don't want to look it all the same. He _had_ to have heard that. Bet he's mad in killin' the stock too. Oh well, at least his eyes sparkle kinda nice when he's mad.


	5. Aya

* * *

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. Who knew being kidnapped by Weiss would help with writers block. Well mostly anyway. Aya gave me a hard time. I wanted his thoughts to reflect what you don't see in his face. Things he would only think in the confined safety of his room. And certainly _never_ say aloud. I may have to do a bit more tweaking with the rest. I'll revise and update someday.

* * *

**Aya**

* * *

Flip

Pages are starting to look the same. This book really isn't all that good anyway. I really should get ready to go visit my imouto. I should have left earlier, but it's so quite around here for once. I like it that way. Just for a while I can forget who I am. What I am.

Flip

I'm not really reading this anymore anyway. I like history so much more. I think I would have been a history major. Something like that anyway, had I stayed in school. Maybe that's why I admire Omi so much. He doesn't know it, and I'll probably never tell him, but I look up to him. He's messed up. But he works hard, maybe the hardest off all of us, just to be normal. I admire that quality very much. I don't have that in me anymore. There was a time when I had dreams too.

Thunk

Can't even pretend to read anymore. I don't like hospitals. I don't want to go. I want to be there and sit with her awhile. But I don't want to be _there._ She shouldn't be there either. She should be anywhere but there. I've been procrastinating all day.

Slam!

Ken's home. I hear his muffled 'Hello' through the door. I hope he doesn't think I'm inclined to answer him. I know I'm being uncharacteristically moody today, but I can't help it. They all know I'm moody anyway. I think they all think I don't feel anything but I do. I wish I were more like Ken. He doesn't have any qualms about showing anything. Omi hides his feelings as much as Youji does, but Ken, I always know what he's thinking. It scares me too. Omi hides his sadness. Youji hides his misery. Ken hides nothing. That kind of vulnerability would kill me.

Thump Thump Thump.

He's trying to irritate me. And he's being rather childish about it. He knows how loud that is. Looking at my katana by the door, I realize how dirty the thing is. Guess I could clean it. It's a show of disrespect to keep it in such a manner. Sheath needs to be replaced. I can't believe it's actually cracked. Must have happened on the last mission. Weather got to it. Got to me too. Waited half an hour for the target to show. They all think I was making them all sit out in the snow for my own sick pleasure, but the timing had to right. I had to be sure. So much pressure. What if we make the wrong move? What if the target isn't there? What if I make a wrong decision and get one of us killed. I feel like a pressure cooker.

Click

Gun loaded. Slip it in my waistband. Can't bring a katana to the hospital. Can't go unarmed, I feel too naked. Not afraid, just exposed. Like someone will see my weakness and use it. I know how illogical that is. Don't I? Am I lying to myself? Maybe I am afraid. Maybe my weakness is that I _can't_ admit it. Can't. Won't. Not afraid. Can't be weak.

Jingle

Keys! Which pocket? Why are there so many pockets on this damn jacket? What the hell is this? I don't remember putting this here. Omi must be hiding Youji's cig's again. Great, now he's getting me in on it. Cute. I smile as I contemplate the half pack of cigarettes in my hand. _They_ make me smile. Omi, Ken, and yes even Youji. I didn't think I still could. And I still don't when I'm not completely alone. I'm not ready. The fact that they could get past my defenses scares me. They made me welcome even when I pushed them all away. Boy did I push. Yell. Did everything but stomp my feet. I know I was downright mean. I remember Omi making me breakfast once, during the first few weeks I was there, when I explicitly told him I was not hungry. Just put the plate down right in front of me and skipped away as if he hadn't heard a thing coming out of my mouth. I shoved the plate across the table so hard it fell off the other side, got up and walked away. Damn kid did it again the next day! And the next, and the next. And he always smiled. Because he _knew_. Because he may have been smiling and going on with his endless chatter, but he's every bit as stubborn as I am. And I needed it. Youji will quite smoking, I have no doubt, just because he won't have any other choice. Kid wears you down.

Thump Thump Thump

Damn it Ken! I'm going to KILL him. He's every bit as stubborn an Omi. At first I thought the man was an airhead. He seems so, I don't know, like an airhead. Like the way he keeps asking me to watch a soccer game when he knows I hate sports. Asks me all kinds of questions too, 'Did ya see that?' ' Wasn't that a great save?' He thinks if he annoys me enough I'm going to get into it with him. What's more, I was actually sneaking peaks at the last game from behind my book. His team won 3 to 2. And I was _happy_ for him. What's wrong with me? The man is unnerving. That and I'm starting to think it's on purpose. I don't know why the hell he would piss me off on purpose, but maybe he's not as oblivious as he acts. I'm starting to see a pattern. Even Youji has some points I'm starting to admire. I can't stand him. He makes me irate and he _does _do it on purpose. Pushes my buttons until I'm ready to explode. Arrogant. Self-centered. Womanizing. Lazy. Reckless. Loyal. Incisive. Witty. Man he pisses me off.

Sigh

I've got to get out of here before they open the shop again. I know they closed for a couple of hours. Truth is, I don't care. I just don't want to run into that throng of preadolescent gaggle of girls. They remind me of the way Aya-chan should be right now. I wonder what it would be like if she woke. My dream and my nightmare most likely. I've soiled her name. It's so covered in so much blood she could never understand, let alone forgive. Would she hug me? Would she curse me? I'm sure she would be utterly revolted. Sometimes, very quietly in my head, I don't want her to ever wake up, because I just don't want to know. I guess there _are _things I am afraid of.

CRASH!

Ken is such a klutz! I wonder what he broke now? I don't think Omi's done the ordering yet, so I hope its not something we really need. I better get downstairs before he breaks anything else. I bet he's going to try to clean it up before I get there. Ha. Think its time to get back at him for his little tenter tantrum on Saturday.

* * *

Owari


End file.
